Doesn't Fit in a Category

Friday Silliness

Church is most definitely a singular word; but it means an assembly of people, which is plural. So when I posted this on Facebook, I was in a grammatical conundrum:

How many pastors can say that the church they lead is genuinely their friends?

What to do? I feel that English singular and plural verbs are insufficient for expressing the craziness inside my head, and thus I have decided that we need another tense – plungular.

The plungular is for moments when you cannot decide whether to use the singular or plural. The plungular for for TO BE should be ARS.

The church ars going to the beach for baptisms this year.

This new plungular form will be useful in many grammatical situations.

It can also appear in the pastive voice which is neither active nor passive, but somewhere in the middle. I think it might also be necessary to develop more tenses and moods. For example, it should be able to appear in the aorist future tense, possibly even in a flirty mood.

Anyway, this whole post is really quite nonsensical; which is good because I deal with way too much difficult stuff day to day.


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