Archive for category Personal

We’re Not Designed for This

So, here’s a scenario for you.

Say that you are a thirty-three year old female diagnosed with thyroid cancer. You have your thyroid surgically removed, but there is no way to remove all of the tissue so the recommended course of treatment is to receive radioiodine treatment.

You go to the hospital and while you’re enjoying the liberating embarrassment of a hospital johnie, you are met by four men carrying a lead-lined briefcase. They present you with a single capsule which contains an isotope of iodine known as iodine-131. What else is there to do? You take the pill.

The small quantity of iodine-131 you are ingesting has come a long way. It used to be a different element altogether. For thousands of years, it was tellurium-130, an element as rare on earth as platinum. It was happily bonded to some other earth mineral, most likely quartz, since the formation of the continents.

Then an engineer dug it up out of the earth, made it into a target and gave it to a physicist who bombarded it with neutrons. The tellurium atoms mutated and changed quickly, with many of them turning into unstable tellurium and xenon atoms that break down almost instantaneously. But some of them pick up an extra proton, which in turn attracts a loose electron from the mess, and the result is the relatively unstable iodine-131 molecule.

Every 8.02 days, half of the iodine-131 atoms in any mass will have a breakdown of sorts. One of its 78 neutrons will split into an electron and a proton shedding energy in the form of a gamma ray. The protons and electrons stay in the nuclei, turning the iodine into xenon. The radiation, which no one really understands fully, streams out of the atom. What happens next is still a bit of a mystery, but one thing is for sure. The thyroid cells holding the iodine during this process are destroyed.

This is a complex, nuclear event. Lots of stuff is happening. There should be a mushroom cloud or something – but there isn’t. This complex, nuclear event is the antithesis of an atomic bomb. You are stuck in isolation. Even your television is wrapped in plastic. Your nurses rush in and out of the room to prevent exposure.

Your neck swells as tissue is destroyed and cells disintegrate. The escaping gamma radiation is ionizing DNA molecules, knocking electrons out of orbit in atoms and causing the atoms of amino acids to lose their grip on each other.

What was once living (even if cancerous) tissue is now dead, inert chemicals. The body has a system for dealing with this, flushing the unusable xenon and iodine into the excretory system and recycling what it can.

But all of that takes time and occurs on a microscopic level. Meanwhile you feel like someone punched you in the neck.

You have to live in quarantine for at least three days, one of which you spend at the hospital. When the physicist – not a physician but a physicist – tells you that your radiation levels are below 5 millirem per hour.

You don’t know that a millirem is 1/1000th of a roentgen or that it is a measurement of gamma radiation. After all, gamma radiation is what turned Bruce Banner into the Incredible Hulk.

But the physicist knows that the people around you will be exposed to the gamma radiation being given off by the iodine-131 in your system. You have become a source of harmful radiation, so he wants to make sure that your husband and daughter will not be exposed to harmful amounts.

When you’re no longer harmful, they release you. You drive home and get to spend the next three days in isolation – unable to touch your loved ones.

That has been my wife’s week.

Let me explain something in case you didn’t know. Cancer sucks.

Even a very treatable form of cancer like the cancer my wife has or the form her sister fought last year is still awful.

Here is what cancer is.

It starts with a single cell is produced with an altered DNA sequence. The altered sequence can be from genetic mutation or radiation exposure or even (believe it or not) a fungus or virus. That cell ceases to produce healthy, productive cells and instead produces non-functioning ones.

You should know that everyone has cancer cells. Our bodies are marvelous at producing new cells, but with ten trillion cells in a human body, there are bound to be errors. For the most part, your body is very good at identifying and destroying these faulty cells.

But sometimes the body simply cannot keep up. In that case, the mutated cancer cells replicate unchecked. They grow faster than healthy cells and in time can cause healthy organs to fail.

What is truly astounding is that there is absolutely no reason your body cannot deal with these mutations. The cure for cancer should be very simple. Just tell the cells to stop producing bad copies and then tell the healthy cells to replace them.

Believe it or not, this is the entire impetus behind the human genome project. It is the driving force behind billions upon billions of dollars of drug research. To stop cancer, you don’t have to destroy it. You simply have to get the body to do what it is supposed to do and your body should heal itself.

But nobody can do it.

So for no reason, inexplicably, cancer strikes. It hits kids and seniors, men and women. It is indiscriminate because it is not an it. It is your own body turning against you.

The way I see it, cancer can be one of two things:

1. It is evidence of evolution. In other words, the existence of cancerous mutation is evidence of the way in which life changed and altered over the epochs. My problem with this is that cancer is never good for the organism. It is always harmful.

2. It is evidence of sin in the world. When we look at cancer, we see our need for restoration and redemption. We realize the frailty of life and the necessity of a Savior.

I choose the second, although not everyone will agree.

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My New Phone

Recently, I upgraded my phone. It was time. My LG enV Touch had run its course, and beside the battery giving me about 2 hours of use, it was dropping calls and not sending text messages. If you’re in the business of people, not connecting with them is a big no-no.

A lot of readers might think that buying an iPhone would be a no-brainer for me, but as suprising as it might seem I went for an Android phone. I made the foray into the world of Google devices for a couple of reasons:

1. At the church, we use Google Apps for everything: our email, our calendars, and many of our records.

2. I already have an iPad.

3. The iPhone is EXPENSIVE.

4. I like physical keyboards on my phones.

So, I got an LG Enlighten, which is an entry level phone running Android 2.3 “Gingerbread”. The phone itself has some quirks. It is not the fastest device you will ever use, but it is not my primary device. My iPad is. (I am writing this post on it.)

I just needed a phone with a physical QWERTY keyboard and the option to use it as a WI-FI hotspot. Since the Enlighten was also FREE with my upgrade, this was a no-brainer. The phone met all my criteria, so it made sense.

Google Apps Integration

Here is what I love so far about the Android phone – everything is integrated. I entered my Google email and password, and presto all my contacts, calendars, YouTube and Documents were available to me. A quick download of the Google+ app and all my pictures automatically go to Picasaweb.

Google does the cloud right. Say what you will, they are way ahead of Apple on the integration of services. (iCloud is an embarrassment thus far.) Need to add a contact? I just enter their info on the phone, and POOF! It is available everywhere – even my Address Books on my Mac at the office and my iPad. That does not happen with iOS without a lot of work.

Add a calendar event? Oh look, it is on my Google Calendar! My wife can see it. My iPad can see it.

The Google Docs integration is full, but editing a document on a 3″ screen is not my idea of productivity. It is convenient to be able to see the documents, but I’d do little work on the phone – even if it was an iPhone.

Social Media Integration

Once I downloaded the Facebook and Twitter apps, they integrated into the OS. It is the kind of “deep integration” that Apple claims to have with Twitter, but for everything. The phone merges all my Address books, so I not only see a person’s contact information but also have a link to their Facebook, Twitter and any other social apps I download.

What’s more, the OS can integrate with Evernote, my favorite app in the world. Just press the menu button and tell the phone to send it to Evernote. POOF! It is in Evernote.

If we’re honest, Evernote’s integration with iOS has lagged a bit. It took forever for them to get full rich text formatting, and just today I tried to use a shopping list on Evernote on a grocery trip. Nichole and I separated in the store, and the idea was to just keep updating the note as we picked up items. What happened was that everytime she edited the note on her iPhone, it would append an entire copy. By the time we were done, there were sixteen versions of the same list in the same note.

What’s Lacking?

1. Android really does not have a solid take on audio integration. The built in music player is bare-bones, and it does not allow convenient use of audiobooks – which are my primary listening. With iOS, I can build .m4b files that include bookmarks and section breaks. Try as I might, Android just does not play well with these files.

2. iOS’s approach to multi-tasking is both efficient and convenient. Android’s is bulky and does not lend itself to any sort of confidence that it is working. Battery life on my phone is about the same as my wife’s iPhone 4S, but I have to constantly be on the watch for apps running in the background. When apps are eating away at my resources (which are limited in this phone), I have to manually kill them or use an app killing software. Even then, I feel like the apps linger in the RAM.

3. The microSD dance gets annoying. My phone is an entry level device, so there is only 120MB of internal storage. That’s not a ton. I have a microSD card, and can move many apps to the card, but they have to leaves some of the app on the internal memory. So, even if I had a 32GB microSD card, I would still be limited to about 50-60 apps at an average of 1.5MB of storage on the internal memory.

But here’s the thing…

I Want My Phone to be a Phone

I have my iPad for mobile computing and note taking. I don’t want to use my phone for things I can do on the iPad. (And I certainly don’t want to pay $300 for a phone that does the exact same thing as my iPad.)

I want my phone to integrate that snapshot I took or to check my email really quickly. I want to be able to send everything everywhere – all at once. My phone isn’t for getting my news or for creating content.

My phone is for making calls, sending texts and quick updates. And when necessary, it is for letting my iPad get online. It does what I want, and it keeps contacts and such up to date.

I don’t expect Android to be as slick as iOS, anymore than I expect Windows to be Mac OS. Windows does different things, and does them very well. Each OS does something well, and we shouldn’t demand they do other things. I wouldn’t want Android on a tablet, and I am happy without using iOS on my phone.

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Christening?

In the New Testament, when someone became a follower of Christ, they were baptized. This baptism was coupled with their heart attitude – repentance.

The word repent means “to turn”. It is a conscious, volitional choice to turn toward Christ; and by definition, away from our own self-centered, sinful nature.

When someone repented, they accepted baptism. Baptism was the public profession of personal repentance; and as such, it was also a voluntary act.

The Apostle Paul best explains the purpose of Baptism in Romans 6:

Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin.

Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. (Romans 6:3-11 ESV)

Sometimes the step of baptism was taken by an entire household at once (Acts 16:32-33), but generally the Scriptures show us individuals making the choice on their own. Even in these household situations, it was still a decision.

This brings us to the topic of christenings and baby dedications.

The term christen is a form of the Old English word for Christian. In practice, christening is the “making Christian” of someone. Our modern usage of the word is to indicate the baptism of an infant or child.

Our congregation ministers in an area where the majority of folks come from a Catholic or mainline Protestant background. In these traditions, christening is a ubiquitous practice. Even those who do not worship regularly or consider themselves Christians will bring their infants to be christened.

In these traditions, the theological argument is that christening serves the same purpose as circumcision did in ancient Israel. The purpose of christening is to bring the child into the Christian community. The theological justifications vary, but in the Roman Catholic tradition, this infant baptism is said to wash away original sin, while confession and penance are required to cleanse our volitional sins.

I have written on this parallel elsewhere so I will not belabor the point, but suffice to say that the Scriptural evidence for such a parallel is completely circumstantial.

We, and most baptists, do not practice child baptism. We do not believe that an infant can repent of his sin or voluntary submit to baptism, and as such, christening is an exercise in futility. While not necessarily harmful, it imputes nothing good to the child’s journey with Christ; and there is the potential for great confusion as to the nature of their faith.

Instead, we practice a voluntary child dedication. During a worship gathering, parents present their children for the elders to pray over them. We, the congregation, covenant with the parents to partner with them in the rearing of their children.

The covenant is not with the child but rather for the child. It is a covenant the child’s parents and their friends make together with God to cover the child’s life with prayer and Scriptural encouragement.

My personal experience has been that congregations take their ministry to children much more seriously when we covenant together. We open the door for the honoring of practices such as spurring each other onto good works (Hebrew 10:19-25) and the younger people being taught by the older (Titus 2). It is voluntary covenant to teach and encourage, which results in a deeper commitment of the parents and their fellow believers.

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It Is Time to Step Away

Ministry is a difficult life. It is not just a job; it is not just a lifestyle; it is not something you can just put down or count as unimportant when it isn’t convenient.

At the same time, there are moments in the minister’s life when he must walk away. Sometimes you walk away permanently, but most of the time it is just a walk away. You step back to get some perspective or you go on a journey to get some distance. You might need to walk somewhere else, because the path you are on is too cluttered or too confused.

If you find you spend more time thinking about your church than you do your wife, you need to take a walk (preferably, holding her hand.)

If your church is more important than your kids, it is time to step away.

If ministry leaves you so weak that sin creeps in, you need to take walk.

If you feel overwhelmed more often than you feel led by God, step away.

One of our elders was listening to me explain something or show them something that we were doing and he commented to me, “you’re like a kid.”

What he meant was that I get excited about things, I tend toward an overflowing exuberance about what God is doing. When what we have seen that God can do becomes a reality, that is one of the greatest experiences in life for me. Nothing feeds my soul like seeing God’s vision become our reality.

Except, when I wake up in the morning and I get to take care of my family. When I have the time and the opportunity to make my wife’s lunch for her before she heads to work, when my daughter greets me with a hug and a smile after she wakes up, when I can spend a quiet evening just in their presence –that feeds my soul and I know the world is right, the church and home are in balance.

Getting to that balance, knowing when and where and how to know and experience the things that ministry has for me takes a lot of introspection. It takes a lot of walking away and thinking deeply, praying fervently and learning to discipline my life and my mind.

If there is one piece of advice that I can give to pastors both young and old it is this: never sacrificed home for church. Never make the church the mistress of your affections and your joy.

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One Quarterback on Top of the Heap

With all the hype around Tim Tebow and his breakout season, it is easy to forget that there is some amazing football being played this year in other areas. It is great to see the kid playing and doing what he’s doing and standing true to his faith, but he’s not in the same league as the best quarterbacks in the NFL.

Right now, there are three quarterbacks who have a chance at breaking all kinds of records this year. Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, and Drew Brees have a combined 67 touchdowns and are all averaging well over 300 yards per game. Twelve games into the season, all three of them  have a legitimate shot at passing Dan Marino’s record of 5,084 yards set in 1984. It is not likely that any of them will pass Tom Brady’s 50 touchdown passes from 2007, but their passing yardage is absolutely unbelievable.

Among them, these quarterbacks have 5 Super Bowl rings. Aaron Rodgers is leading one of the most dominant teams of the modern era of the NFL. Tom Brady is a first-round Hall of Fame pick – no questions asked. Drew Brees? The man’s a passing machine.

Of the three (and keep in mind that I am a New England Patriots fan) Aaron Rodgers is having what is quite possibly the single best overall year for quarterback of all times. He showed just how good he  is last night when he led a drive of 80 yards in 20 seconds, capping it off with a touchdown pass. Rogers has 37 touchdowns this season, 3,800 yards and only 5 interceptions.  he has a QB passer rating of 125.3; and although I think that rating system is kind of bogus, he’s twenty points ahead of the other two guys.  And they are ten points ahead of the next guy in line!

Aaron Rodgers impresses me, there’s no way around it. If you had told me years ago, when Brett Favre left the Packers that Aaron Rodgers would be the best quarterback in the league in any season, I would’ve told you you were crazy. But there it is. Right now, in the NFL, Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback on the field.

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Too Tight a Control?

I take my role as teaching pastor very seriously, and I believe that everything we do teaches something. This runs so deep in the core of my being that it would be pointless to explain how or why I think this way.

When I say everything, I truly mean everything. I can be somewhat irritating to people because I do not believe that “good enough” is just not good enough. We can always be better. We can always communicate more clearly. We can always convey ideas more effectively.

This applies to everything from the way I preach a message or the band plays a song to the positioning of flowers and the phrasing of an article in our weekly bulletin to the way the chairs are arranged in our auditorium.

Nothing doesn’t matter.

This makes me come off as a control freak, and I used to feel a little embarrassed about that because culturally I suppose I am supposed to be super tolerant and understanding of people. According to our culture, I am not supposed to correct people’s grammar in emails or change the way something has “always” been done because it might offend.

But which is more important? Not offending people or presenting the cause of Christ in the best possible light?

Can we ever obsess too much about the way we represent Christ?

If we truly believe that every aspect of ministry and life should be saturated with Christ’s presence, then how can we do anything in mediocrity? How can we ever be passionless in our ministry to others? Can there ever be a detail too small or too insignificant?

I say we should devote endless energy into being better and more effective at teaching Christ. I say we should be so focused, so laser-beam focused, on the message we are sending that we continually are improving and changing.

Yes, I want things a certain way. Do I offend people on purpose? Of course not. Does it happen? Yes. Have I made mistakes? Yes. Have I had to repent over offending people? Sure. Do I lose sleep over it? Not in the slightest. I’d rather fail from time to time in pursuit of effective, creative,  brilliant communication than always succeed at being mediocre.

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Chosen (Reading the Steve Jobs biography)

Abandoned. Chosen. Special. Those concepts became a part of who Jobs was and how he regarded himself. (Steve Jobs, Walter Isaacson)

I know that sometimes it must seem like I obsess about Steve Jobs and Apple products, but there is something fascinating about their story. While Nichole was in surgery, I bought the Kindle edition of Walter Isaacson’s biography of Jobs. Only a few pages in, I hit this quote and I could not get away from it.

Why?

Because there is so much tied to the idea of being chosen – so much biblical imagery revolves around this idea. And here I recognized a theme that we often disregard. We forget that God chooses, and that he wants us to feel chosen.

What are the ties I observed?

Steve Jobs was adopted by Paul and Clara Jobs in 1955. His biological parents, Joanne Schieble and Abdulfattah Jandali, were not married. Joanne’s Catholic family would have completely rejected her for marrying Jandali so she gave little Steve up. His adoptive parents never hid the reality of his adoption from him but at age six, a friend asked him, “So your parents didn’t want you?” He was heartbroken, but Paul and Clara reinforced to him that they had chosen him. They wanted him.

This was the reality of his adoption. He was wanted. He was chosen. He was special to his parents. Nothing before mattered. All that mattered was that his parents wanted him enough that they did not parent him out of a biological accident. They intentionally called him son.

Here’s what I extracted. Sometimes, we think God chose us because he had to, because no one else would take us. So sure, we might be God’s people but only out of obligation. If God had a choice, he would have chosen someone else.

Not only that, but we fall into the belief that we Gentile believers are God’s second choice. He chose Israel, but they turned on him, so he had to try again with us. Not only are we not wanted, but we’re the second choice.

Is it any surprise that Christians live in guilt and fear? We do not embrace the choice that God made. We misinterpret God’s justice as some kind of disdain.

We are God’s sons, joint heirs with Christ. (Romans 8:12-17) We are not taken reluctantly into His household, but joyously. (Luke 15)

This is because we are not chosen and then loved. We are chosen because we are loved.

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See You in a Couple Days

As this is being published (I wrote it last week), my wife Nichole is in surgery to have the remainder of her thyroid removed. She has undergone a similar surgery back in 2009 and it is hard to believe we’re here again.

Here are some videos for you to watch while we wait to see how the procedure goes:

Enjoy.

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Need Preachers? We’ve got Preachers (in my family)


My father and grandfather - both ordained ministers. My dad has pastored since 1977.

My brother-in-law Doug and my sister Kate. Doug has been pastoring since 2005, I believe and was an assistant pastor for quite a while before that.

My cousin Joe, who has pastored in Wilson, Kansas for three years (almost four).

My brother-in-law Ralph (right), who is a missionary in East Africa.

Yeah. Some families are all carpenters, or all electricians, or all undertakers. My family specializes in serving the Lord.

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Why I Don’t Make People Call Me “Pastor Erik”

There are some folks in our congregation who call me “Pastor Erik.” It doesn’t bother me. For a lot of people, that is just how they refer to their pastor. It is like an automatic thing for them.

But if you ask me what you should call me, I generally say, “Erik is fine.” I don’t go out of my way to stick the title pastor in front of my name. It is not that I am ashamed of the title pastor. It is on the door of my office, and it is my email address (pastor AT bedfordroad.org), but I don’t attach it to my name for a lot of reasons.

Here’s the deal, if you really want to know. I’ll give you my two primary reasons for not referring to myself as “Pastor Erik” even when others do.

In the Scriptures, pastor is treated as a verb – an action – and not as a title. It is not appended to the names of those who were part of congregational leadership. People shepherded and pastored, but no one in the Bible is called “Pastor so-and-so.”

In my experience, sometimes this title of pastor so-and-so can become too much of a person’s identity. They forget that they are a person fulfilling a role in Jesus’ church, and they start thinking of their role as all that they are – all that matters. I’m the kind of person who would do that, so I make a conscious effort not to let that happen.

It is not that I actively discourage people from referring to me as Pastor Erik. That’s their prerogative, and it is up to them. I don’t have any deeply seated belief that drives me to tell others not to use the title as part of their name. I just don’t ask people to do it. I am happy with the name my parents gave me – Erik.

Pastoring is what I do.

Erik is who I am.

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